Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today is the American holiday of 'Thanksgiving', a tradition in the States which is among my favourites. Today families join together for good home-cooked food, to spend time together, watch football, and to celebrate all that we have to give thanks for.

Unfortunately for the past 6 years I have been too far away and without enough money to return to celebrate with my family at my grandmother's house, as I did every year until moving to India, getting married and all. It's been good though. Every year since leaving home 6 years ago, there have always been friends (regardless of nationality) around to celebrate the day with - best of all my lovely wife. :-)

Today we wanted to share with you some of the things that are happening here which we are thankful for.

For a long time now, Dana and I have been planning to return to the States to continue studying and finish up the paperwork required to be free to live inside or outside the US as we choose. Many of you know that the process of applying for Dana's visa to come to the States has been a long and complicated one. So we're very happy to let you all know that we are finally very near the end, and that we're now just waiting for an appointment date for our interview at the US embassy here in Romania. This is the very last step in the process where the final approval is given. We are hoping and praying that this will take place by the begining of January! :-)

We also would like to announce that in mid January, I will be starting school at Bloomsburg University in the philosophy department. This is a step that I've been waiting a long time to take and we are both excited for me to finally get back to school!

Because of this, Dana is able to quit her job at the British School. Her last day is just a little more than a week away. This last month or before moving to the States, we wanted to spend with family and friends while we can. Also, the job has been a hard for her and the travel to the other side of the city every day has been quite time consuming. I have to say that I'm very much looking forward to spending our days together this coming month. :-)

Other good news is that this past month I finally got my residence card for Romania (which would allow me to work here if we were staying longer). This is a good thing because it will make it much easier to spend longer amounts of time here without having to leave the country every 90 days and is a step toward potential dual citizanship.

There are a lot of unknowns in our future right now, and although the unknown is scary, and we feel torn between 3 continents and our friends and family scattered across the globe - wishing we could be in 3 or so places at once - we feel that this is the right direction for us and we are so thankful that these opportunities are finally coming to being.

We hope you've had a great Thanksgiving (even if you didn't celebrate it) and that you have a great day.

Peace and Shanti

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

the Lamp of Hope School - आशा दीप विद्याश्रम

This non-profit school for underprivileged children in Varanasi (run in the same building that we used have our Hindi language classes in) is run by some good friends from our years in Varanasi. The excellent work that the school does is quite encouraging. If you want to know more about their work and perhaps support them, they now have a very good website which you can find by clicking here.


To read page one of this brochure click on the image below

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Monday, October 15, 2007

The Problem with Politics

Religion and politics are two of the biggest things that divide our world today.

Unfortunately Dana and I also happen to think that both religion/spirituality and politics are pretty important. And because of this, we've very often ignored the perfectly good advice that these subjects should never be brought up so as not to offend anyone. To make matters even worse, not only have we gone around talking about politics and religion to people in real life but also here on this blog (as I'm sure anyone who's bothered to check out our favorite links or past posts have noticed). The problem with the blog is that because we're not talking to you in real life, then we can't see if you might have a problem with anything we have to say, or if we might need to clarify what we mean, or whatever (like we said in our post on Facial Expressions).

Of course, everyone who reads this blog will have some sort of position on religion and politics. And this is not bad. Both religion as man's reach for God, and politics which is necessary for an orderly and just society, are very good things. Yet there are so many problems too, and I was just struck by this problem - the fact that the lines between people especially on issues of politics and religion cause division and then that division can turn into fear and mistrust and misunderstanding.

The reason this is on my mind is because I can see how it works in me. Of course, as I said before, Dana and I have a bit of a passion for political issues. We see that these issues really make a difference on how we all live our lives and the way our societies function. We've seen the impact that corruption can have on a society and so we want to have a voice in these areas too. But of course not everyone agrees with our ideas. And here's where the problem is. We may believe passionately in something and then when someone disagrees there can be a tendency to make the issues so important that they overshadow the relationship. I've seen this in myself. And I've had to fight this, because I firmly believe that the person and the relationship is far more important than opinions or the things we believe. I've seen how making our opposing opinions too important can overshadow a relationship. I do not want this to happen, and that's why I'm writing this. I want to apologise for all the times that I've failed in this way, and express what I see as the answer - the answer I'm working towards.


So here's the problem - we all think that our ideas are the right ideas (or else we wouldn't believe them ourselves), and we're usually pretty convinced that if someone else disagrees with our ideas, well, then they must be wrong! Of course this attitude can be dangerous, because we all know that everyone (even me) has been wrong at some point.
We're all just limited human beings who can and do get things wrong.
At the same time this doesn't mean that we're necessarily wrong - just that we should consider the idea. But I want to be clear that we can have strong convictions about what we believe and still remain humble and open to other people - knowing that we don't and can't have all the answers. You can know what you believe and why, and still be open to hearing from and learning from people who have different beliefs because there very well may be aspects that you or I have no idea about at all, or perhaps we may not have really understood the other. That's really the point I want to make. The problem isn't with knowing what we believe and why, but learning to also try to understand people who we disagree with.

So the problem that I want to focus on comes in when we group ourselves into camps of 'Us' vs. 'Them'. We naturally tend to hang around people who agree with us, and the talk can easily turn to how right 'we' are and where exactly 'they' are wrong. And because we've stopped communicating with 'them', all kinds of misunderstandings arise. From that inability to understand 'them' and how 'they' could possibly believe what they do or do the things they do, we stop being able to identify with 'them' as fellow human beings and we begin to see 'them' as our enemies.
It can so easily turn into a huge downward spiral.


So now, here is a solution that I'm trying to work towards in my own life.

Humility, Empathy, and Respect are the keys.
First of all, we start by recognizing that we don't have all the answers - we begin with humility seeing that we are limited, and that although we have reasons behind our beliefs and actions, we don't have all the answers. Then I think it's important to try to put ourselves into the shoes of the people we disagree with. When we try to understand them and really try to empathize with them, when we assume that they're like us and that they must have reasons for why they believe and act the way they do, then we can begin to respectfully communicate and truly understand them.

The amazing thing that we've been learning by trying to put this into practice and communicate with people who we disagree with, in a spirit of humility, empathy, and respect, is that it has broken down the barriers which separate 'us' from 'them'. People who on the surface seemed so incomprehensibly different or who were hardened against us at the beginning, have - when we tried to communicate respectfully, showing that we honestly wanted to learn from them - they have opened up to what we've had to say. In the process not only have we learned so much about them but also about ourselves.
Of course, this doesn't mean that we agree with everyone or that they will eventually agree with us. But understanding has been reached and we've found that by working together with people, so much more is possible.

Of course it's not easy. It can be quite hard to try to understand people who are so different from us - especially when the things we disagree about are important to us. But it's worth it.

It may be that no matter how respectful and open you are, there might still be people who will never be willing to respond, to make peace and try to bridge the divide. This can be difficult. Divisions may be terribly hard to overcome, but that problem certainly can't be solved by never trying to build the bridges in the first place. Trying to understand our 'enemies' may be difficult but the other option is to continue to live with the divisions and hatred which causes so much conflict.

In the end, in religion as well as politics, we have a choice to try to work together or work against each other. We've all seen what working against each other has done for our world. It's brought division, hatred, pride, and oppression and so on.
The choice to try to understand others and put ourselves into their shoes can be difficult - especially when they are our enemies. It goes against our every natural urge. But of course, we know that many times the hard thing is also the right thing.

Think about it. Who are some of the people we don't understand and whom we are divided against? Who are our enemies? Terrorists, Republicans, Democrats, pro-life, pro-choice, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, 'hawks', 'doves', Atheists, fundamentalists, liberals, conservatives, soldiers, anti-war activists, patriots and nationalists, universalists, realists, idealists…?

Whatever the divisions are, aren't we all first human beings loved by God and worthy of respect regardless of our associations?

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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Today's Quotes

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral."

-Paulo Freire, author of 'Pedagogy of the Oppressed'


"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

-Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the South African Nobel Peace Prize winner and champion of human rights against apartied.



Here is a link to an interview with Archbishop Desmond Tutu which we watched earlier this week on CNN's Talk Asia. It was quite good.

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