Monday, October 22, 2007

Today's Quotes: On Love

"Dear friends, let us continually love one another, because love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born from God and knows God. The person who does not love does not know God, because God is love. ...If we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us. ... God is love, and the person who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him."
'The Bible' - 1 John 4:7-8, 12 & 16


“Let us speak then of love. What does it mean to “love” something? If a man asks a woman... “do you love me?” and if, after a long and awkward pause and considerable deliberation, she replies with a wrinkled brow, “well, up to a certain point, under certain conditions, to a certain extent,” then we can be sure that whatever she feels for this poor fellow it is not love and this relationship is not going to work out. For if love is the measure, the only measure of love is love without measure... One of the ideas behind “love” is that it represents a giving without holding back, an “unconditional” commitment, which marks love with a certain excess. Physicians counsel us to eat and exercise in measured moderation and not to overdo either. But there is no merit in loving moderately, up to a certain point, just so far, all the while watching out for number one (which is, alas, what we are often advised by a decadent “New Age” psychology)... Love is not a bargain, but unconditional giving; it is not an investment, but a commitment come what may. Lovers are people who exceed their duty, who look around for ways to do more than is required of them. If you love your job, you don’t just do the minimum that is required; you do more. If you love your children, what would you not do for them? If a wife asks a husband to do her a favor, and he declines on the grounds that he is really not duty bound by the strict terms of the marriage contract to do it, that marriage is all over except for the paperwork. Rather than rigorously defending their rights, lovers readily put themselves in the wrong and take the blame for the sake of preserving their love. Love, St.Paul said in his stunning hymn to love, is patient, kind, not puffed up or boastful; it bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (I Cor. 13). A world without love is a world governed by rigid contracts and inexorable duties, a world in which – God forbid! – the lawyers run everything. The mark of really loving someone or something is unconditionality and excess, engagement and commitment, fire and passion. Its opposite is a mediocre fellow, neither hot nor cold, moderate to the point of mediocrity. Not worth saving. No salt."

From 'On Religion' by John Caputo

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Day in the Mountains



Two Saturdays ago we spent the day with a group of friends driving up into the Carpathian mountains to a huge dam and lake and then a little further up the road for a picnic. It was great. ;-) Although they were calling for rain, the day actually ended up becoming a little sunny. But it's now clearly autumn/winter weather here with a sudden bout of cold weather. The leaves are falling now though maybe only a third of them have fallen by now.
The day out was great. Dana had a very good time playing with our friends' 4 month old girl Alma, a beautiful baby. :-) And I had a good time building the fire, helping the guys on the grill, and taking all these pictures (below).
Over all we're doing well. Dana's job is demanding and she has to travel to the opposite side of the city and out to get there too. It's quite a stressful job for her, so we usually end up not going out with friends much, but it's been nice to do that too. I'm keeping busy with a bit of paperwork that we're working on now as well as helping out with the construction of our church's new building.
We hope you're all doing well too.

Peace




Carpathian Mountains



Dana and Joel

The Dam Lake

The Guys working the Grill

Our Picnic

Dana and our friends's baby, Alma

The Girls

At the Dam

Looking out over the edge

The view from the top of the Dam

166 meter bungee jumping platform

It's a long way down

The Bungee Jumping Platform

The Dam Lake

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Monday, October 15, 2007

The Problem with Politics

Religion and politics are two of the biggest things that divide our world today.

Unfortunately Dana and I also happen to think that both religion/spirituality and politics are pretty important. And because of this, we've very often ignored the perfectly good advice that these subjects should never be brought up so as not to offend anyone. To make matters even worse, not only have we gone around talking about politics and religion to people in real life but also here on this blog (as I'm sure anyone who's bothered to check out our favorite links or past posts have noticed). The problem with the blog is that because we're not talking to you in real life, then we can't see if you might have a problem with anything we have to say, or if we might need to clarify what we mean, or whatever (like we said in our post on Facial Expressions).

Of course, everyone who reads this blog will have some sort of position on religion and politics. And this is not bad. Both religion as man's reach for God, and politics which is necessary for an orderly and just society, are very good things. Yet there are so many problems too, and I was just struck by this problem - the fact that the lines between people especially on issues of politics and religion cause division and then that division can turn into fear and mistrust and misunderstanding.

The reason this is on my mind is because I can see how it works in me. Of course, as I said before, Dana and I have a bit of a passion for political issues. We see that these issues really make a difference on how we all live our lives and the way our societies function. We've seen the impact that corruption can have on a society and so we want to have a voice in these areas too. But of course not everyone agrees with our ideas. And here's where the problem is. We may believe passionately in something and then when someone disagrees there can be a tendency to make the issues so important that they overshadow the relationship. I've seen this in myself. And I've had to fight this, because I firmly believe that the person and the relationship is far more important than opinions or the things we believe. I've seen how making our opposing opinions too important can overshadow a relationship. I do not want this to happen, and that's why I'm writing this. I want to apologise for all the times that I've failed in this way, and express what I see as the answer - the answer I'm working towards.


So here's the problem - we all think that our ideas are the right ideas (or else we wouldn't believe them ourselves), and we're usually pretty convinced that if someone else disagrees with our ideas, well, then they must be wrong! Of course this attitude can be dangerous, because we all know that everyone (even me) has been wrong at some point.
We're all just limited human beings who can and do get things wrong.
At the same time this doesn't mean that we're necessarily wrong - just that we should consider the idea. But I want to be clear that we can have strong convictions about what we believe and still remain humble and open to other people - knowing that we don't and can't have all the answers. You can know what you believe and why, and still be open to hearing from and learning from people who have different beliefs because there very well may be aspects that you or I have no idea about at all, or perhaps we may not have really understood the other. That's really the point I want to make. The problem isn't with knowing what we believe and why, but learning to also try to understand people who we disagree with.

So the problem that I want to focus on comes in when we group ourselves into camps of 'Us' vs. 'Them'. We naturally tend to hang around people who agree with us, and the talk can easily turn to how right 'we' are and where exactly 'they' are wrong. And because we've stopped communicating with 'them', all kinds of misunderstandings arise. From that inability to understand 'them' and how 'they' could possibly believe what they do or do the things they do, we stop being able to identify with 'them' as fellow human beings and we begin to see 'them' as our enemies.
It can so easily turn into a huge downward spiral.


So now, here is a solution that I'm trying to work towards in my own life.

Humility, Empathy, and Respect are the keys.
First of all, we start by recognizing that we don't have all the answers - we begin with humility seeing that we are limited, and that although we have reasons behind our beliefs and actions, we don't have all the answers. Then I think it's important to try to put ourselves into the shoes of the people we disagree with. When we try to understand them and really try to empathize with them, when we assume that they're like us and that they must have reasons for why they believe and act the way they do, then we can begin to respectfully communicate and truly understand them.

The amazing thing that we've been learning by trying to put this into practice and communicate with people who we disagree with, in a spirit of humility, empathy, and respect, is that it has broken down the barriers which separate 'us' from 'them'. People who on the surface seemed so incomprehensibly different or who were hardened against us at the beginning, have - when we tried to communicate respectfully, showing that we honestly wanted to learn from them - they have opened up to what we've had to say. In the process not only have we learned so much about them but also about ourselves.
Of course, this doesn't mean that we agree with everyone or that they will eventually agree with us. But understanding has been reached and we've found that by working together with people, so much more is possible.

Of course it's not easy. It can be quite hard to try to understand people who are so different from us - especially when the things we disagree about are important to us. But it's worth it.

It may be that no matter how respectful and open you are, there might still be people who will never be willing to respond, to make peace and try to bridge the divide. This can be difficult. Divisions may be terribly hard to overcome, but that problem certainly can't be solved by never trying to build the bridges in the first place. Trying to understand our 'enemies' may be difficult but the other option is to continue to live with the divisions and hatred which causes so much conflict.

In the end, in religion as well as politics, we have a choice to try to work together or work against each other. We've all seen what working against each other has done for our world. It's brought division, hatred, pride, and oppression and so on.
The choice to try to understand others and put ourselves into their shoes can be difficult - especially when they are our enemies. It goes against our every natural urge. But of course, we know that many times the hard thing is also the right thing.

Think about it. Who are some of the people we don't understand and whom we are divided against? Who are our enemies? Terrorists, Republicans, Democrats, pro-life, pro-choice, Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, 'hawks', 'doves', Atheists, fundamentalists, liberals, conservatives, soldiers, anti-war activists, patriots and nationalists, universalists, realists, idealists…?

Whatever the divisions are, aren't we all first human beings loved by God and worthy of respect regardless of our associations?

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

Birthdays!

It's been a while since our last personal update on how we are and what's happening with us. We wanted to write because today is Joel's birthday. :-)

This week has been a good week for us - full of celebration with family with special meals for both Joel and Dana's father whose birthday is a day before Joel's. This past Sunday we had a cookout at Dana's Grandmother's house in the garden with Dana's family. Joel and Tata ('Dad' in Romanian) worked the grill. We had cake and stayed for the afternoon and evening. Then, both yesterday and today on our actual birthdays Mama made special meals and a cake and we exchanged a few gifts.

It's been nice to stay here in Romania though it's been hard too. Time with family after such a long time away is priceless. It's true that you don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore, as we've learned from our years away from family while we lived in India.
But this is also a bit of a hard time for us. Dana's job is demanding and so she feels drained a lot of the time, which means that we don't have as much time to spend with friends here. We're also still in transition, not adjusted yet from moving from India. Even though Joel can't get a job here in Romania and is waiting until January to start school, he is trying to use the time each day wisely. This time here in Romania is perfect for him to work on learning the language.

Over all, things are a bit difficult, but good. We are blessed more than even we realize. We hope you are doing well (whoever is reading this) and may peace be upon you.


Below are some recent pictures of Dana with old friends, and from our cookout on Sunday. :-)





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Novartis threatens access to medicines for millions

North Indian Classical Violin

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Today's Quotes

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral."

-Paulo Freire, author of 'Pedagogy of the Oppressed'


"If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

-Archbishop Desmond Tutu, the South African Nobel Peace Prize winner and champion of human rights against apartied.



Here is a link to an interview with Archbishop Desmond Tutu which we watched earlier this week on CNN's Talk Asia. It was quite good.

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