‘My Life is My Message’

‘My Life is My Message’

Gandhi spoke this of himself, and ever since I read it, it has always been something which struck me as being exceptionally wise. So I just wanted to share a few thoughts I’ve had about this idea.

Recently, Madonna was quoted in an article where she said that she wanted to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr (but not be murdered). She went further to say that we should all be like Jesus in our time.

I know that Madonna has become very religious of late, and I agree with her that we should all be like Jesus in our time, but the problem is that to be like Jesus isn’t just about words, it’s about how we live, in the real world. And for me, just like for Madonna – the biggest question is: What's my life's message?

For a long time now, these people have been heroes to me, who changed their societies with their voices and with their lives. But again – I have always hesitated to apply Gandhi’s statement to myself, that ‘My life is my message’ because I was afraid of what that would tell people. But here is something I realized recently: Whether I like it or not, my life really is my message. It’s true for everyone.

This is a hard truth to accept, if I believe that selfishness is not a good thing but makes the world a worse place; if I accept that to live like Jesus (the way that Mother Teresa, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King Jr. all tried to) makes a person truly great; if I accept that lives like that which have shown love, truth and justice at great personal expense, have made the world a much better place; if I believe all this, and then I turn around and take a good look at my life, I realize that:

“I don’t believe very many noble things. My Life testifies that the first thing I believe is that I am the most important person in the world. My life testifies to this because I care more about my food and shelter and happiness than about anybody else.” (Donald Miller – Blue Like Jazz)

Of course I’m guilty of this. And normally, I don’t think anything of it. There is a disconnection between what I say (and even think) I believe and what I actually believe.

When self-centredness rules, the world becomes a lonely place. Cut away from true friendship and the beauty of a selfless love. This is the stuff of broken relationships for the sake of material possession, or the self-gratification of a secret affair and the pain which it causes when the former beloved finds that they were no more than a tool for pleasure. We are all like this in one way or another. This is the stuff which Allan Bloom spoke of when he said:

“The most visible sign of our increasing separateness and in its turn, the cause of ever greater separateness is divorce… There is a quest, but ever more hopeless, for arrangements and ways of putting the broken pieces back together. The task is equivalent to squaring the circle, because everyone loves himself most but wants others to love him more than they love themselves.” (The Closing of the American Mind)

But this isn’t the last word on things. Yes, the problem is that we all love ourselves more than anyone else. But there is true love too.

There is the love between really great friends, between a husband and wife who really love each other more than they love themselves. We all recognize the nobility of a friend, a husband, a father or mother, who sacrifice themselves to save their friend, their wife, or their son or daughter. This is the kind of love we all want and need.

I think we can't really even imagine how good the world would be if it was only filled with such people who love purely and truly. But we can get at least a glimpse of heaven in the love of a good father, a friendship which crosses all barriers and is true, the love of newlyweds, or in a mother for her new-born baby. We can get a glimpse of heaven, if only in part.

As Donald Miller wrote

“I am learning to believe better things. I am learning to believe that other people exist, that fashion is not truth... I am learning not to be passionate about empty things, but to cultivate passion for justice, grace, truth, and communicate the idea that Jesus likes people and even loves them.”

I’m also learning that I can change – but this has only come when I’ve realized that what I believe in my head and what say I believe - that other people matter - isn’t enough. I have to live it. It’s come when I begin to realize how self-centred I really am. As Gandhi said, “It is our actions which count”. The struggle is to figure out in each new situation how I will respond and how I will change to become a better person.

How will I react to the realities of suffering and injustice around me? How will I respond to beggars, to street kids, to the person who stole my new shoes, or the person who offends me? How will I act when there is a choice between acting for my own comfort or going out of my way to help someone else. That’s the question.

What will our lives say about us? What message are we sending?

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Leo Tolstoy

“I am the problem”
-An idea that Donald Miller talks about in his excellent book ‘Blue Like Jazz’

“Fathers and teachers, what is Hell? I think it is the suffering of one who can no longer love.”
-from ‘The Brothers Karamazov’ by Dostoevsky

More Pictures

Sun through the palms

Sundown on the Arabian Sea

Arjun and his cousin looking out a window built into a ancient step well (a well which has steps going down into it - providing cool in the heat of Ahmedabad)

Elephants

Joel and Dana at the step well

Cows relaxing in the shade of an alley way

Driving by the spice market

At the Mosque in Ahmedabad, India
read #3 :-)

Muslim men doing their evening prayers

Dana and I visiting the Friday Mosque which has some amazing architecture

Beautifully carved stone lattice at the Mosque from the 1400s

3 big boys - Joel with our friends' kids Arjun and Benjamin

Dana holding Benjamin and his sister Charis

Men in skirts (Lungis are common wear for men in Varanasi - especially inside the house)

Our last evening in Varanasi - we had a few good friends over for a nice meal, some prayer for our journey, and to hang out one last time.

Arasi, Dana, Lijo, and Swami ji

Back in Romania - Pictures from the last 2 months

Hi All,

Sorry for the long delay in our postings. We've been super busy both since we've been here in Romania for the past week and a half, as well as in our last few months in India finishing up work with the School of Hindu Studies Office.

In December, we really began our transition out of Varanasi. The Christmas season was busy for us and we ended up spending Christmas together with friends in Delhi for a week. It was cool. After Christmas when we returned to Varanasi we had a few days - before new years eve, to pack up and move out of our house.
Our plan was to move in with some friends and their kids for the remaining two months we would be in India.
So that's what we did. It was so nice to be able to take time with them (Chuck and Stacie), play with their two children - Benjamin 2yrs old, and Charis - 4 months old. Dana especially enjoyed that. :-)

The beginning of January saw us finish up with our work in the School of Hindu Studies Office and hand over our responsibilities to our friends in the office. Dana's project of compiling the curriculum for the School of Hindu Studies almost completely finished after a year of work on it was a big accomplishment.

From the end of January, we left on a month long trip through India with our good friends, an American/Indian couple, Jeremy, his wife Arasi and their 2 and a half year old son Arjun.

We began with a trip to a conference in South India for rethinking Christian/Hindu interaction This conference was initiated by Christians concerned with culturally sensitive communication between the two faiths.
The conference was good for us and we left feeling refreshed and connected to people of like mind even as we were preparing to leave India indefinately.

Next, we spent about 3 weeks of down time with our friends at the beach and then at Arasi's family's place in Gujarat (where Gandi was from) for an extended farewell - a good way to end our 5 years in India.

Upon our return to Varanasi we finally said our goodbyes to friends, packed up - (not an easy task to sort our things we had acumulated these past two and a half years and figure out what to leave and what we to take) So after a week back at Chuck and Stacie's house we said goodbye to them and took the train to Delhi where we caught our flight to Romania.

The story of our flight - which was late and forced us to almost miss our connecting flight from Istanbul (even with an eight hour layover planned) was crazy, but we made it alright and so did our luggage. :-)

Now we've been here for a week and a half and are very busy trying to figure out how to deal with the papers to apply for Dana's visa to the States, our taxes, School, and all. But I won' t bore you with details.
At any rate, we are here in Romania for what looks like 5-6 months before we can finally travel to the states for those of Joel's family and friends who haven't met dana even yet after 3 years to finally do so. :-)

Well, here are some pictures from the past few months. Hope you enjoy them.

Shanti,
Joel and Dana